Chris Campbell (aka. The Tcheuchter Tornado, The Leftie Lewis Lamb
Lover)
Age:
26 (with the belly of a 39 year old).
Footballing Style:
Scintillating pace, breathtaking vision and a magic wand for a left boot
-
Chris wishes he had all of these things. Instead he has to make do with
an
overinflated opinion of his own adequacy, sloth-like pace and Adidas
Samba's
with a hole in the left toe.
Player Idol:
In Chris's most far-fetched, shandy-fuelled fantasies he believes
himself to
be the reincarnation of Maradonna , circa. 1986, instead he's the
prototype
of Maradonna circa. 2026 (post left foot amputation).
Appearances:
13,422.
Shots on target:
419 (left foot) 3 (right foot).
Goals:
49 (left foot) 3 (right foot).
Career Highlight:
Too numerous to mention, although "dancing round yoos bastards" will
always
be a special favourite. Fisticuffs with Mark Duffy takes the prize for
the
most half-hearted square-go in Pitz history. Chris's speciality is the
pre-match banter and post-match debrief, the actual match is always an
anti-climax. Luckily however he's the only person who'd tolerate the
inevitable abuse when people drop out so is always going to be selected.
